11 of the worst people you can work with

11 of the worst people you can work with by Amber Rolfe Unfortunately, you can’t choose your work colleagues… No matter where you work or how long you’ve worked there, you’re bound to have come across your fair share of irritating team members â€" whether it’s that they’re slightly annoying or downright unbearable.We’ve already covered some irritating office habits and annoying phrases, but here are 11 of the worst people you can (and probably do) work with:1. The slacker Characterised by: their unique talent of doing nothing (but looking like they’re doing something).Most commonly found: pretending to talk about work, on their tenth break of the day, or playing games on their phone in the bathroom.2. The suck-up Characterised by: their shameless efforts to persuade their boss to put them above everyone else. Also particularly skilled at making it seem like everything was their idea.Where you’ll see them: having ‘banter’ with senior staff, giving the thumbs up, or confessing their self-proclai med greatness (within close proximity of their boss).3. The gossiper Characterised by: their knowledge of everything and everyone. Whether it’s an office romance, suspected affair, or someone’s getting sacked, the gossiper is always the first to turn it into a game of Chinese whispers.Most commonly found: by the water cooler, starting conversations with ‘did you hear…?’, or covering their tracks with abrupt subject changes.4. The oversharerCharacterised by: an unstoppable urge to bring up every aspect of their personal life. Spending time with them is almost like live streaming someone else’s diary; you don’t really care, but you also can’t stop listening.Most commonly found: sharing intimate details of their life, asking others how to improve their online dating profile, or crying.5. The hothead Characterised by: their inability to deal with anything calmly. They’re loose cannons; unpredictable, angry, and rarely seen without a red face â€" meaning working alongsi de one is slightly terrifying.Most commonly found: screaming, shouting, swearing, or wildly flailing their arms in rage.How to deal with horrible bosses6. The micromanager Characterised by: their constant need to interfere with every task you’re set. No matter how competent you are, the micromanager will take control and make you wonder why they asked you to do it in the first place.Most commonly found: everywhere.   7. The complainerCharacterised by: a penchant for venting/moaning/being sad. The complainer is a stranger to silver linings, swings and roundabouts, and bright sides â€" and is much happier talking about the rain, how tired they are, their workload, or how Tim from Accounts stole their mug.Most commonly found: pointing out problems, asking when they can go home, or complaining about (insert any subject here).Five things you should never do at work8. The over-worker Characterised by: their flustered expression and stressed-out demeanour â€" which they desperately disg uise with forced smiles and copious amount of highly stacked paperwork. Clearly bitten off more than they can chew, but often used as proof that you could ‘work harder’.Most commonly found: at work, working from home, working on holiday, working whilst asleep…you get the picture.Six signs you’re working too hard9. The talker Characterised by: their ability to overthrow any meeting, conversation, or presentation with the sound of their own voice. The worst part? They never really have anything good to say.Most commonly found: interrupting people, making bad jokes, or talking about themselves.  Five things all meetings can do without10. The antagonistCharacterised by: their love of pointing out everyone’s flaws. The antagonist spends most of their day searching for problems and has a field day (at the expense of others) when they find them.Most commonly found: making mountains out of molehills, or repeatedlyexclaiming that they ‘have to be cruel to be kind’11. The snitc h Characterised by: cunning attempts at dropping their colleagues in it. Called in sick with a sprained ankle? The snitch will show your manager a video of you doing star jumps that same day. Thanks for nothing, Sharon…Most commonly found: Eavesdropping on conversations, disguising statements with questions, or trawling social media for clues.Social media: How to make your profiles recruiter-safeTop 5 irritating office habits (and how to deal with them)Need some better colleagues? View all available jobs nowFind a job What Where Search JobsSign up for more Career AdviceSign up for moreCareer Advice Please enter a valid email addressmessage hereBy clicking Submit you agree to the terms and conditions applicable to our service and acknowledge that your personal data will be used in accordance with our privacy policy and you will receive emails and communications about jobs and career related topics. Life At Work Work-life balance

Writing the Objective in Resume

Writing the Objective in ResumeWriting the objective in resume is considered to be the most essential part of your resume. The objective acts as a formal entry on your resume that makes your application stand out and give you an edge over other applicants.An objective is a statement of purpose that lets a person define the reason for his/her joining the organization. It also tells what skills you possess that will serve the organization. Therefore, writing the objective in resume should be done carefully and with care.The objective should be written to the target audience. You can look for templates that are commonly used by a specific organization or company. These templates are being used for personal or professional purposes.The objective in resume is also included in the cover letter to the prospective employees. The objective should be included in a letter that is formal. It should be short, crisp and appealing to make it appear genuine. Since it is not required in resumes, it i s good to be brief.With the basic idea of how to write an objective in resume, now let us focus on giving solid reasons why the applicant should be offered a job. The main purpose is to present the resume to the hiring managers in an effective manner.First of all, the reason should be presented in a clear step by step manner. This will surely make a difference between the applicant who was properly presented the resume and the one who was presented in a haphazard manner. It is easy to come up with reasons why you should be hired if you take into consideration certain factors.If you have been a part of this organization for some time and have shown an initiative towards development, then showing a detailed history will surely show why you should be hired. If you have great experience in a specific field then presenting a specific expertise related to it will show that you are serious about the job. There are no limitations as to what you can present.Your strong reasons must be emphas ized so that the reader understands your intentions. If the reasons are good, then the recruiter will certainly respond to your resume and will be impressed by your motivation. You can come up with so many reasons if you try to develop your own reasons.

Overcome the Post Summer Blues and Energize Your Autumn! - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

Overcome the Post Summer Blues and Energize Your Autumn! - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career A sure sign that summer is over is the return of school buses’ flashing stop lights back on the streets, Halloween decorations and costumes on the shelves and the tips of Oaks, Maples and Buckeye trees shedding their green exterior to reveal the burnt red and yellow tone at their tips.  The air’s a bit crisper and when a cloud appears, a sudden chill sets in. The smell of burning leaves and roasting chestnuts soon will fill the air and a favorite sweatshirt is becoming more appealing than short sleeves. Pay attention to all the wondrous activities related to the new season; Autumn is so alive with crisp air thats great for long runs (or strolls) in the park, enjoy hopping over and crunching fallen acorns, gazing at the colorful splendor on the trees, drinking hot spiced cider, cheering at football games, socializing at tail gate parties, and switching over your wardrobe to a more layered look. But with all of my appreciation for autumn and its glory, if  youre like me you may still feel some occasional pangs of longing for the recent season past, my favorite season, the summer. For those of you who didnt get a break this summer, you might feel a bit frustrated that the supposed more carefree season passed you by. You may need a dose of encouragement for kickstarting the fall because you didnt get the rejuvenation you need from the summer. Stay tuned. For those who were fortunate to have traveled  this summer to a beautiful, exotic or interesting place, you may return home and feel a certain tinge of the blues; The laundry awaits you along with hundreds of unread e-mails and the knowledge that your next big break from your routine won’t be anytime soon makes it a bit harder to be upbeat. After a great trip, the first thing most of us do is recall how marvelous our trip was; we review pictures, relate stories to friends and mull over and over in our own minds all the good times had. While all of this is fine for a few days or even a week, eventually we need to adjust and adapt to reality and infuse our everyday life with the elevation we experienced during a great holiday break. How To Energize Your Autumn? The best way to appreciate and be happy with the passing of summer (or for that matter, any season you favor) is to embrace the following season! Although you can’t control the change of seasons or the fact that time marches on, you can control how you relate to the change. The challenge is that when we’ve had a great summer, it’s not so easy to look forward to it being over. Letting go of summer can be one of the hardest seasons to let go of as summer evokes memories of a more care-free time; we shed our heavy layered clothing, enjoy picnics, outdoor concerts, trips to the beach and barbecues. Adjusting to the fall can even make it harder if you’ve experienced an amazing vacation this summer. (Maybe that’s why we call autumn the “fall season?”) When you embrace the right mindset, every year upon its’ return, autumn’s arrival could seem more miraculous. As the season changes its a great time to engage in an accounting of the past year and how you could take steps to improve yourself in this upcoming season. Think of the new season as a new opportunity to reawaken yourself to the beauty in your physical surroundings and to the possibility for change and finding your unique purpose in life. You might even find solace in summers closing by using fall as a time for reflection, planning and self-improvement. May it be enrolling in a course that will broaden your skills at work or signing up for an art or fitness class, try doing something new this season that will enrich you. Take charge of your life and learn a new skill or assume a new role (as a volunteer or at work) that could increase your marketability and your happiness. After spending a blissful week in Colorado this summer, hiking, running, mountain biking, attending concerts, lectures, eating delicious food and enjoying the bright blue rocky mountain skies, dry air, splendid wildflowers and cool evenings, it was somewhat of a rude awakening returning to my comfortable life in the Midwest where we’ve endured erratic weather of intermittent both cold and hot days, lots of rain following a long, snowy, arctic winter and a spring so brief, I think I missed it. My first reaction to returning home was probably a normal response; I felt a culture shock in that most people I saw were in business or street clothes but the whole town didn’t wreak of hikers and cyclist returning from a day long excursion deep in the mountains.   I missed Colorado and momentarily was fixated on how superior the living is out there. The truth is that what makes a vacation special is that its a break from ones normal routine. As I get older I realize that if I lived in the place where I took a respite in time it would become less special. This mindset helps me adjust and appreciate what I have at home. Here’s what I did to shake off the vacation and post summer blues.   I can suggest this to anyone who has normal mood swings as a strategy for getting your mojo back. Steps to Overcoming the Post Summer Blues 1.  Be thankful for having had the experience and for returning in one piece!  Seriously folks, many people go away and get sick once they get there or get injured while on vacation.   Be glad you came home healthy (assuming you did) and focus on that for a while. 2. Look at your pictures one last time, savor the memories, and say to yourself: I’m so lucky to have had this amazing experience!  I am more refreshed for having had a break and I’m soooo lucky to have experienced this and now it’s time to show myself I’m a trooper and I have something to accomplish in my life. 3. Connect with positive people where you currently live! 4. Immediately create a to do list and chalk off each item as you complete the task. 5. Continue to practice or pursue one positive behavior or experience you had when you were away.  If you took a yoga or a cooking class and enjoyed that, sign up for a series at home and have your beautiful memories in mind when taking the class. I personally enjoyed fruit with my breakfast and delighted in seeing all the wildflowers when I was away.   So I decided to have a similar breakfast at home and take a run in our local park where there are also beautiful wildflowers (albeit not as magnificent as the ones I saw in Colorado) but I was more alert to them now than before I went. Mimicking some of the activities I enjoyed when I was on vacation while at home allows me to bring the elevation of my get-away back into my everyday life. 6.  Jump back into your work with gusto.  Breakdown your week into tasks per day and check off each task as you complete it. You’ll find this will get you back in the groove and you’ll actually feel good about being productive again. Separate work tasks from personal tasks and try to balance how many you complete per day. By the middle of the week you’ll already begin to acclimatize and build your momentum for managing your responsibilities. 7.  Do something nice for someone else both at work and in your personal life. Extending yourself to someone else (who most likely didn’t just return from a vacation) allows you to tap into your “higher self,” deepens your appreciation for what you already have, increases your sense of connection to those in your community (and in your sphere of influence) and infuses your life with greater meaning and pleasure. After the first few days back in town there is always some volunteer organization that could use my help and/or a person I know who could use emotional support. Attending a meeting to help a cause helps remind me of my association with people I value and to a worthwhile cause that could use my support. Reaching out to help another person and a philanthropic cause helps me feel reconnected to my roots and gets me centered again.   There are always people asking for coaching assistance who can’t afford my services.   I found donating my time to coach a few clients after I returned from my trip made me feel good about giving without expecting any reciprocation. 8.  Find some activity you enjoy that’s tied to Autumn.  Whether you go for a ride in the country to see the change of leaves, take a walk in nature, go apple picking at a nearby orchard or enjoy a new good book with a cup of hot cider, make time to do something special for yourself!  Every season has something to offer and if the weather doesn’t change much where you live, try to schedule a trip to enjoy the change of seasons somewhere because some change is always good! As we pass through the seasons, try to increase your joy by appreciating the beauty that lies in each of them. Recall what was good in the previous season and reflect on what you learned over the past few months. Seize the opportunity to engage in activities that will improve your mood and your outlook. Make your life richer by seeking out new relationships with people whom you admire, holding onto the friends and family whom you love and to those who give you strength, and  reaching out to give others support who are going through a tough time. On the surface, this new season appears to be about leaves turning over, but it could also be a chance for each of us to turn things over. If we truly desire a great autumn it will require investing some thought and time to get excited about starting anew, embracing change and becoming a more self-actualized person. Autumn is coming whether we like it or not, so we might as well use it for a time to shed any negativity and become more fully who were meant to be. Viva la Autumn!

Issue 10 of Personal Branding Magazine MC Hammer 2.0 - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

Issue 10 of Personal Branding Magazine MC Hammer 2.0 - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career Personal Branding Magazine â€" Volume 3, Issue 2 MC Hammer 2.0: How To Use Social Media to Reinvent Yourself! Summary Personal Branding Magazine Volume 3, Issue 2 is about brand reinvention through social media and what better example of that than MC Hammer. Hammer, a celebrity hip-hop star, sold millions of albums back in the 80’s. Decades later, Hammer is now one of the front men for the social media movement. He has his multi-million Twitter following and his own social network to keep in touch with his old fans. Aside from Hammer, this issue will help you control brand perceptions, repair a damaged brand and give you tips and tricks for navigating the web 2.0 terrain, so that stay ahead of the game. Video promo Free sample issue available today Enjoy eight articles in the free sample issue, which can be found on PersonalBrandingSample.com. You’ll hear partial interviews from MC Hammer, Kerry Rhodes, Patrick Lencioni, Steve Rubel, John Jantsch and Mitch Joel.     You’ll also see two great articles on how to fix a broken image and how to have a competitive advantage in your industry. Full issue available November 1st (paid subscribers only) The full issue will be out on November 1st, including complete interviews with major business celebrities and a combined 28 articles for your viewing pleasure. Be sure to subscribe before November 1st in order to receive this issue in your email inbox. More information can be found at PersonalBrandingMag.com. Features Exclusive interviews with: MC Hammer is a rapper, dancer, and entertainer that rose up to stardom in the 80s and 90s with his hit songs Cant Touch This and Too Legit To Quit.   Now hes the founder of a social network, Dancejam.com, has millions of followers on Twitter and is a reality TV star on AE. Kerry Rhodes is an American football player, who currently plays safety for the New York Jets NFL team. Patrick Lencioni is the New York Times bestselling author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, and six other bestselling books.   He is the president of The Table Group and Fortune Magazine listed him as one of the top ten gurus you should know. Steve Rubel is a Senior Vice President and Director of Insights for Edelman Digital.   Steve is a social media pioneer and is on many award lists, including   PR Weeks 40 Under 40 and The Forbes.com Web Celeb 25.   His lifestream blog is very popular in the industry as well. John Jantsch has been called one of the worlds most practical small business expert for consistently delivering real-world, proven small business marketing ideas and strategies. He is the author of Duct Tape Marketing The Worlds Most Practical Small Business Marketing Guide and the Duct Tape Marketing Blog. Mitch Joel is one of Canadas best known marketing visionaries.   Marketing Magazine dubbed him the Rock Star of Digital Marketing.   Joel is President of Twist Image and his book is called Six Pixels of Separation. Contributors Experts, authors, and bloggers such as: Douglas Karr, founder of DK New Media, LLC and blogger at The Marketing Technology Blog Dave Fleet, Account Director and head of the Social Media practice for Thornley Fallis Communications Darryl Ohrt, the founder of creative agency Plaid and BrandFlakesForBreakfast.com Bill Green, blogger, Make The Logo Bigger Willy Franzen, founder at One Day One Job Jason Seiden, author of Super Staying Power: What You Need to Become Valuable Resilient at Work Jim Turner, founder of One By One Media Jason Keath, founder of Social Fresh Dan Zarrella, author of The Social Media Marketing Book Joe Pulizzi, blogger at Junta 42 and author of Get Content Get Customers Stuart Foster, marketing consultant and blogger at TheLostJacket.com Nisha Chittal, blogger at Politicoholic.com Greg Rollett, blogger, Rock Star Lifestyle Design Special thanks to the staff Miriam Salpeter and Jessica Lewis are the editors.   This issue was also supported by Jonathan Coffman Columnists: Jay Deragon, Tiffany Monhollon, Rick Mahn, Maria Elena Duron, Vikram Rajan, Jack Humphrey, Georgina Taylor, Justin Levy, Ivana Taylor, Silvana Avinami, Howard Sholkin and Jim Stroud. Join our Facebook fan page Thanks to our sponsors

Rubric Resume Writing

Rubric Resume WritingYour resume is a statement of your credentials, and it is very important to have a professional rubric for your documents. Whether you are applying for a job as a paralegal or an engineer, the job requires you to write a resume. If your resume has no job title or objective, then you will be hard pressed to get a job interview. A professional rubric can help you write a resume that will serve you well when you apply for a job.When you have finished writing your resume, the next step is to send it to all the companies you are considering. You can try to have this written by hand, but you will probably want to use a word processor program to do this. You may also want to get some sample resumes from various employers in order to get an idea of what the formats look like. For a better idea of how to format your resume, try to get samples from several different places. This will help you decide what format to use and how to make it interesting to read.There are two di fferent formats that you can use in order to format your resume. You can use a table of contents or an organized list, or you can use just a list of information. Depending on your situation, it may be beneficial to use the first one over the second.For example, if you currently employer is not interested in hiring you at the moment, the table of contents format will help you put together the information that you want to have included in your resume. Since this is a standard format, it should work well for you. If you are unsure about how to format your resume, you can always ask a friend or family member to help you out.Another option is to put multiple names on the front of the document. This is perfect if you are writing a resume for a number of different positions. However, if you want to save some money, you may prefer to use just one name on the front. The only downfall to using the single name format is that it will be harder to write in a formal tone. Even if you are too nerv ous to use the formal tone yourself, you may still want to use a format that suits you best.Once you have the document that you want to use, you can either copy it to a text file or use Word to edit it. Either way, you will need to format it according to what format it is supposed to be in. Make sure that the table of contents is organized and the text is consistent throughout the document. In addition, you may want to use headers in order to help focus your attention to certain sections.For example, if you are writing a letter to your future employer, you can include a heading that says 'Important Information.' This can help you organize the text in your letter. The same principle applies if you are applying for an interview at work. Include a heading that says 'Your Current Position.' This can help you focus your attention on the sections that you want to focus on when writing your resume.The only drawback to a rubric resume writing format is that it is not standardized. There is no formula that is going to make your resume work perfectly for every situation. However, with practice, you will be able to get the job you want without having to waste your time on a rubric.

Why Does a GPA Resume Need an Expert?

Why Does a GPA Resume Need an Expert?You should have an excellent GPA resume if you want to get into any of the well-paying jobs available in today's highly competitive job market. Your GPA is a must in getting any job. This may seem obvious but, the fact remains that most people fail to write a good GPA resume for two main reasons.The first reason for not having a GPA resume is that they lack the time to write one. It can be very difficult to research for the information needed to produce a good GPA resume. And the time that is needed for research can be much more than the time available for a good GPA resume.Students need to work all the time. Some students can't even manage to complete their essays on time. What happens is that they don't have enough time to do it. So they will make mistakes and the result is that they get poor grades.The second reason why a GPA resume does not appear on most students' minds is that they just do not have the time. They are juggling college, work, school and social activities. This can't be helped as the competitive job market is very demanding. Students need to get a lot of work done and they usually cannot do it alone.To meet the need for good GPA resumes, there are professional companies that can help you with your task. These are companies that can produce one on one help to make your task easier. These companies have experts who can do the work for you. In addition, these companies to provide you with the facilities to present yourself in the best possible way.You can choose how you want to present yourself; whether you want to present your grade per class, by subject or by multiple tasks. It can also be customized according to the needs of the company. If the students are registered, you can get the sample of your GPA resume along with any other document that needs to be sent to employers.Using the service of professionals is a great idea. They will be able to enhance your document so that it can easily be understood by any employer. These people will do all the research for you. They can write for you and help you in writing a better GPA resume.The importance of writing a good GPA resume cannot be overemphasized. Your GPA's matter a lot. You should write your personal statement and your college information properly so that your employer gets a clear picture of who you are and what you do.

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Children - Kathy Caprino

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Children Part of Kathy Caprinos series Parenting for Joy and Success In my 12 years of work in the helping professions, first as a marriage and family therapist then as a career and personal success coach, I’ve been absolutely floored by what I’ve heard parents say and do that severely damages their children. In addition, I’ve learned through working with over 11,000 mid-life men and women who want more from their life, livelihood and relationships, that what their parents said and did to them many years ago dramatically influenced their own self-concept and their ability to shape their lives in satisfying ways. It’s clear that, either intentionally or unconsciously, wounded parents wound their children. The critical takeaway from my recent work with adult children of narcissists too is that the words you utter habitually, and the actions you take as a parent, can and will influence how your child thinks and feels about him/herself, potentially for a lifetime. It’s so important to be extremely careful about the process and content of our parenting. For instance, if you’ve experienced pain and damage from your own childhood, you’ll want to get therapeutic help to learn how to better manage yourself, your emotions, anxieties, doubts, fears, and “power gaps” because your children will be impacted through osmosis. In other words, try as hard as you may to be supportive and productive in your parenting, your kids will do as you DO, not as you say, and they will integrate some terribly painful lessons that you didn’t mean for them to learn, if you’re not ever vigilant about how you behave and communicate. I hope you’ll do your child an immense, life-changing favor and make sure you don’t injure your own children with the trauma and baggage you were burdened with from your parents. I’m a parent too, with my own set of childhood wounds and baggage, and I’ve made my share of mistakes and missteps, for sure. So this doesn’t come from a judgmental place â€" I’ve been there many times (struggling to be the best parent I can be). But it does emerge from years of working with people who have been traumatized by parents who, without knowing it, caused damage that isn’t easily healed. Below are the 10 things I believe parents should NEVER say or do to their children, if they want to ensure their children grow up as healthy, happy, balanced, self-reliant, self-confident, and self-loving as possible: Never say: “Your idea (or you) are stupid.” If you want to teach your children to think for themselves, you never want to give them the idea that their ideas are “stupid,” or that they are unintelligent and incapable of thinking for themselves. Instead, you want to help them build their own internal trust, capabilities and powerful decision-making abilities, so that they can work through new ideas and directions in an effective way that will bring them to the right course of action for the best life possible. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Again, great parenting is not about you needing to prove you’re right.  In fact, that’s poor parenting. Healthy parenting is all about helping your children address their life’s challenges in a confident, self-empowered way. If you tell them they don’t know what they’re talking about, they’ll be shamed into being quiet, not expressing their thoughts and opinions, and they’ll begin to see you as someone who isn’t safe to share their inner most doubts and authentic thoughts with. Don’t belittle them for expressing ideas that may not be fully baked or fleshed out yet. “You’re wrong to feel that.” I remember years ago, a neighbor of mine screamed at her young son, saying “You’ll go to church today and you’ll like it!”  That’s not healthy parenting, in any way, shape or form. Sure, you may want to instill in your child a belief in the value of attending church, synagogue or mosque (or follow any other tradition) but you have no right to tell them how they should feel about it. How would you feel if someone told you “you better be happy” about something that you were miserable about? When parents insist that their children feel or think a certain way, it leads to one thing only: children believing deep down that it’s not ok to be who they really are. And they sense that they can’t be fully honest with you or reveal their true emotions.  What’ll happen then is that they’ll to stop telling you the truth, and stop feeling that the world is safe for them to be who they are.   And you really don’t want that, especially in the teen years where risky behaviors are all around them and youll want them to feel free to discuss things that scare them. “You’ll never be able to do that.” Truthfully, you have no idea what your child is capable of achieving in the future, even if you think you do right now.   I’ve seen people do utterly astounding and amazing things in their lives that their parents and others told them were impossible. Saying, “You’ll never be able to do that” is slapping them down and cutting them off at the knees. Sadly, when you parent that way, you’ll also be cutting off some amazing opportunities in the future for them to soar and thrive. Don’t YOU be the one to tell them that they are not capable â€" there’s enough of that naysaying and diminishing, critical feedback in the world that surrounds them. Let them find out themselves what they want to pursue, and what they’re capable of. “You’re too young to know what you want.” I’ve seen in my therapeutic and energy healing work that we humans know and perceive things very accurately and deeply at a very young age. We DO know what we think feel and want. So when you tell your child that they don’t know what they want, you make them doubt themselves, and you undermine their belief in themselves, and they begin to question themselves at every turn. As an empowering parent, you want to teach them, from a very young age, to honor what they feel and think, and to respect and work with that. Then, when they’re old enough to leave home, theyll be much more able to choose positive and productive directions, relationships, career avenues, and other important events and experiences that will be beneficial in their life, without needing your or other people’s advice at every turn.  â€œI hate you.” We all lose our tempers sometimes and fly off the handle. We’re human. But using “hate” language is something we have to avoid. Telling your child you hate him crushes his sense of self, and is very scary for young child, and damaging for an older one. Having a parent reject us can feel as scary as “death” because it taps into a primal fear that all humans have of being abandoned. If you’re so enraged and out of control that you want to say something hateful, you need to take a time out and absent yourself from the room and the situation until you can get it together, and speak more calmly, compassionately, lovingly and respectfully. Youre the adult you have to act like one.  â€œWhy aren’t you more like your brother/sister?” If you’ve had siblings, you probably know exactly what it feels like to be compared to your brother or sister. It’s bad all the way around. If you’re compared and come out on top, you feel guilty and ashamed for being more successful, pretty, talented, intelligent, etc. If you compare unfavorably, you feel “less than” and inferior â€" and that makes you angry, resentful, sick and feeling unloved and unappreciated. Each child is a separate soul and a separate entity. Don’t compare them as a way to elicit the behavior you want. That creates conflict and tension, and often pits your children against each other in harmful ways that last a very long time.  â€œYou have no right to say (or think) that.” Freedom of speech is a right that we fiercely uphold in civilized societies and civilizations. Every human being has the right to think and share what he/she believes, even if you hate to hear it. It’s not a matter of “rights.” Your child has the right to think and feel what she does. But it IS a matter of respect, compassion, care, empathy, etc.   If you feel that your child or teen is not respectful to you, then address that head on. Tell them why their behavior demonstrates a lack of respect, and articulate clearly what you want and deserve instead. Set very clear expectations how you want your interpersonal dynamics to go with your child. “I can’t wait until you leave.” I hear this one a great deal, among parents who feel that their children and teens are exasperating and extremely “difficult.” The parents don’t know how to handle the challenges that the child presents, and they feel intense anger, frustration, and ineptitude and they want that pain to stop.  So they tell the child “I can’t wait until you’re gone.” Think about how that’s perceived and felt from a child’s or teen’s perspective. It’s crippling because they’re just doing their best every day to try to navigate their own, very tough and anxiety-provoking challenges in today’s high-pressured world. For their own parent to be fed up and throw his/her hands up and say “I’m done with you,” is frightening and deeply saddening for a child. Even if you think your kid is “tough” and can take that kind of comment, don’t utter it. Youre the parent and you need to demonstrate that you can effectively handle what life is throwing you and your family. “You should be ashamed of yourself.” As Brené Brown talks about in her work on vulnerability and shame, shame is an “unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior.”   She shares that  â€œshame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. Its the most primitive human emotion we all feelâ€"and the one no one wants to talk about. If left to its own devices, shame can destroy lives.” There are so many other ways to communicate that your child needs to revise his/her behavior â€" shaming is not the way to go. Talk about how the behavior hurt someone, or how it’s not appropriate for the situation, or it reveals irresponsibility or a value that you think the child might want to look at more closely. But don’t shame them. ************ Do these behaviors hit home for you? Which ones do you struggle with most? Know that youre not alone. Please share below. For more about healthy, productive parenting, join Kathy in her Parenting For Success and Joy private coaching program and read her posts on Raising Self-Confident Children and  Effective, Empowering Parenting.

Think about how your body language may impact your job hunt -

Think about how your body language may impact your job hunt - If youre looking for a job and thinking ahead to the interview stage, Im betting youre checking out interview books and practicing interview questions, which isnt a bad idea. However, have you considered practicing the communication skills youll need to help you land a job? Interpreting body language is an important element of good listening. Think about it eye contact, nodding, leaning in to listen all of these help your conversation partner recognize how engaged you are and helps him or her feel valued as part of a conversation. Body language is key to helping you succeed in business, or any field. Body language may be more important than you think in a job hunt. Kate Lorenz wrote about the topic for CareerBuilder.com. She said: Research has shown that the first impression you make on an interviewer really sticks. In one study, untrained subjects were shown 20- to 32-second videotaped segments of job applicants greeting their interviewers. When the subjects rated the applicants on attributes like self-assurance and likeability, their assessments were very similar to the interviewers who had spent more than 20 minutes with each applicant. Seems like focusing on your body language and first impressions matters a lot! I once wrote a term paper about the importance of body language. The quote I remember from it, Dont underestimate the power of body language, from The Little Mermaid, is no less true today! (Yes, I really quoted a Disney movie in my paper.) Did you know that people who are positive and confident outperform their peers in their job searches? Research shows that persistence and a postive attitude pay off in the job hunt. You can always pick out a pessimist by his or her body language slumped shoulders, eyes down, expressionless (or frowning). No one wants to hire someone who seems sad or pessimistic. Straighten up, smile and make eye contact. Your body language speaks louder than your words. In fact, research also shows that body language makes up more than half of how our communication is perceived. That means that you may be describing your greatest business accomplishment, but if your posture isnt good and you dont make effective eye contact, you might as well tell the interviewer about the time you lost your portfolio on the way to a presentation. Another telling body language tool is the handshake. How many times do we have to tell you strong and firm gets the job done! BusinessWeek wrote about several different types of handshakes to use and some to avoid. Eye contact along with a firm handshake can make a world of difference to how you are being perceived. Remember the little things matter. In fact, the little things may actually be the BIG things! Focus on every aspect of your presentation to ensure that you put your best foot forward with your job search. photo by Gerwin Filius